the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
