So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
