your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i permit you to call me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
