Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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