Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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