i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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