she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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