i don't like sucking hair
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
