do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
