The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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