You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
