Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
