he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize