i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you would pick up someone in the library
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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