What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
