Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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