New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
