Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
