i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
