When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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