The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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