i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Your cock deserves a montage
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
