a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
