she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
