FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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