I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
