Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dignity is for republicans.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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