Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
