I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
