Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Fuck appropriateness.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
