My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
