im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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