The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
