Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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