I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
