he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
