Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
