i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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