I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
