Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize