So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
