Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
