Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
