Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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