hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
