im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
