So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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