margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
