Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
