ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
