Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
