Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
