sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
