So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
