Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
