Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
