weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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