batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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