I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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