Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
